Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
