chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So vagazzling was a success
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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