I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
