she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
