Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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