It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
