Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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