HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
