Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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