Christians are straight up FREAKS
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He shit in the fireplace
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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