so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
