Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
