I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she looked like the before picture.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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