I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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