your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
