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I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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