Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
