Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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