He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
50% drunk capacity currently
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
