Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
