I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
