ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
