I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Im part way to drunk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
