Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
