Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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