I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
