Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
