I need help removing her.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
