Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
