It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
