She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
