did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i now understand why vodka
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
