you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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