Apparently you make a good broom.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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