Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
