i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
