Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
