This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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