Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
