thus making me awesome and them whores
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
