I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
