Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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