That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
