she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
