Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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