Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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