Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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