why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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