just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
