I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
